Alexandria Clark

Anyway.. back to what I was saying.

I bought that cd

that cd you were listening to on the way back..

the words, the voice that poured into your head

yeah you should have read that from the beginning!

anyway....those words...

those words that filled your head as you drifted off to sleep...as you fell into a slumber...

I watched you...the bright flourescent light of inside reflecting off the windows... the dreary black nights sky outside....the perfect alibi.

the perfect excuse to watch you and study your face...

I began drawing but it wasn't enough..

I had to just keep watching...actually study your face.

I guess you're thinking right

now that it may be stalker- ish behaviour...

well it wasn't

it's my choice to watch

my choice to study the life mine.

And after that night we listened to her.

We listened as those six minutes fifty two seconds poured into our ears and poked at our hearts...

I think this was the only time that our hearts were moved that night.

I wanted them to.

I wanted to be close to you...

But you just couldn't let me in

As we lay there

naked

under the covers

we stared up at the world created by the damp patched that spotted your ceiling....

and we just listened.

I don't regret it you know.

I don't regret the fact that you are here.

Or the fact that you used me...

It wasn't in a bad way

but you did use me but... I was happy to be useful...

He needed someone

He needed her...

He needed to be held

no words

just actions

He needed someone to sleep next to as he was thinking about how he was going to end it... with her

She needed someone

She needed to be held

She needed someone to sleep next to

someone to sleep next to as she was trying to forget about what was actually going on.

He took hold of her hand...

began to massage it.

began to show some sort of affection

she didn't tell him

she didn't tell him how much it hurt

that it was bruised.

he should have remembered...

but this was all she wanted...

all she wanted was some show of care...

something to show that this mattered...

the lack of emotional affection caused her pain...

yet now it was also his final show of physical affection that hurt her to the bone...